I have four daughters, ages 14, 12, 8, and 6, and I am absolutely obsessed with them. I know every mother thinks her kids are the greatest humans on the planet, but I really do think mine are pretty exceptional!!
They're all so wildly different, which has been one of my favorite things about watching them grow up. I have one who I could genuinely see running a company someday because she's basically a miniature version of me, another who I think will be the most incredible wife, mother, aunt, and homesteader because she has such a heart for those things, one who is so brilliant she could do just about anything but will probably end up somewhere in the wilderness because she loves being outside, and another who I am fairly certain will find herself in beauty or fashion because, well, she's very aware of how fabulous she is. LOL.
And the funny thing is, I don't really talk about motherhood all that much publicly. I've spent so many years sharing my professional life that I think people probably know a lot more about my career than they do about the part of my life I care about most.
Which is honestly kind of crazy because if you know me personally, you know how much I love being a mom.
I'm the mom who still wants to squeeze her kids and hold them as much as they'll let me. I'm the mom who makes sure we sit down for dinner together at a set table, even if we're eating something completely basic on a Tuesday night. I want the plates out, everyone sitting together, and a little bit of intention behind it because I think there's something special about making an everyday moment feel important.
I'm also extremely committed to family movie nights. I want the popcorn, the blankets, the pile of kids in our bed, and everyone laughing at the same ridiculous thing. Sunday mornings are for church, and that's just part of who we are as a family. We go together, worship together, and have built so much of our weekly rhythm around our faith.
These probably sound like little things, but they're actually a really big deal to me.
I've always wanted our home to be a place where my girls feel loved, secure, and connected to one another. I want them to genuinely enjoy being together, not just because we're related and happen to live under the same roof, but because we're a UNIT.
And lately I've been thinking a lot about how intentional I need to be if I want that to continue.
I love working. But I love being their mom more.
For most of my adult life, I've been able to build my career around my family in some capacity. When I was working behind the chair and running my own businesses, I had a level of flexibility that allowed me to be incredibly involved in my girls' lives, and I really valued that.
The last four years have looked different.
I stepped into a demanding executive role, took on an enormous amount of responsibility, and became deeply invested in the business and the work we were doing. I genuinely loved so much of it, and I learned more during those years than I probably could have learned in a decade doing something else.
But somewhere along the way, I started giving my career more of myself than I realized.
I've always been someone who can get completely consumed by something I'm passionate about. If there's a problem to solve, a new opportunity to explore, or something I think can be better, my brain has a really hard time turning it off. That's been a strength in my career, but I'm also learning that it can become a weakness when I don't pay attention to where all that energy is going.
I was still their mom, obviously. We still had our family traditions, and I was still very much involved in their lives. But I know there were times when my mind was somewhere else, when I was working more than I wanted to, and when I was giving the best of my energy to things outside our home.
And if I'm being completely transparent, that part has been hard to swallow! Not because I believe mothers shouldn't have careers. I absolutely do not believe that. I love being an ambitious woman, and I love that my daughters have watched me work hard, build businesses, and pursue opportunities that required courage and sacrifice.
I just don't want them growing up believing that being successful means being consumed by your work.
My girls have taught me a lot about what matters.
Recently, I experienced a rather abrupt and significant change, and I actually told my daughters what was happening before almost anyone else.
There was never really a question in my mind about whether I would include them. Of course I would. We're a family, and while I always want to be thoughtful about what information is appropriate for their ages, I also want them to know that we're a team and that life doesn't always go according to plan.
What I didn't necessarily expect was how much they would show up for me.
They have been my biggest fans.
As I've started exploring new interests, working on creative projects, and thinking through what this next season of my life might look like, they've been right there encouraging me, giving me their opinions, helping me with things, and getting genuinely excited about whatever I'm excited about.
It's been one of the sweetest parts of this entire experience. 🥹
And it's reminded me that the relationship I've been trying to build with them all these years is becoming something really special. They're not just four little girls who need their mom to take care of them anymore. They're becoming their own people, with their own personalities, thoughts, talents, and ways of loving the people around them.
I love that they feel comfortable talking to me. I love that they want to be involved in the things I'm doing, and I love that even though they're all so different, we really are such a unit.
I'm incredibly proud of that.
What I actually want them to learn from me.
I want my girls to grow up knowing that they are capable of extraordinary things, but I also want them to know that extraordinary doesn't have to mean the same thing for every person.
If one of them wants to run a company, I hope she goes after it with everything she's got. If another wants to stay home, raise babies, grow a garden, and build a beautiful life around her family, I hope she knows that is SO meaningful. If one wants to spend her life exploring the outdoors or another wants to build something creative in beauty or fashion, I want them to feel completely free to pursue those things.
I don't want my definition of success to become theirs simply because I'm their mom.
And I certainly don't want them to believe they have to sacrifice the people and things they love most in order to prove that they're successful.
That's probably the biggest shift happening in me right now.
I still have big goals. I still love business, and I have absolutely no intention of becoming less ambitious. But I'm also becoming much more aware of what I want my everyday life to look like, and I don't think I should have to choose between doing meaningful work and being the kind of mom I know I want to be.
I want to build a life where both can exist, with the right priorities.
I want the family dinners, the church Sundays, the movie nights, the conversations in the car, and the little moments when one of my girls climbs into my lap even though she's getting entirely too big for that.
I want to be available for the things that matter to them, and I want to actually be present when I'm there.
Because someday these girls are going to grow up and start building lives of their own. They'll have their own careers, families, relationships, challenges, and decisions to make, and I hope they'll carry a lot of what we've built together into whatever comes next.
I hope they remember a mom who worked hard and wasn't afraid to do big things.
But even more than that, I hope they remember a mom who absolutely loved being their mom.
And who made sure they knew it. 🤎